Now I use various Internet forums on a daily basis, have done for years as I’m sure many of you do too. I moderate on some, participate on others and occassionally just lurk – especially on subjects where I feel out of my depth. But on many forums, it never ceases to amaze me how many people alienate themselves by misjudging the mood, or etiquette, of the forum they are on.
Some topics are emotive, granted, but when I see people flaming others and being disresepectful, it makes me sad. Forums are valuable tools, not only in business, but in life and so many people come across as numpties without even realising it. On most forums I read, there are posters who, no matter what they have to say, I’ve learned just to skip over and ignore, simply because they have a history of confrontation, unbalanced views or downright rudeness. You see, to me, there is one golden rule to posting on a forum:
How would you react to your post if you were in someone else’s shoes?
If only more people would read their posts back before they post them, think how it will be perceived and how it will make them look. It’s pretty simple. And many posters lose the respect of their peers by not doing this it’s unreal. Here’s a case I came across (no names!):
Back on a gambling forum, before I even arrived, there was a guy who posted frequently making some very valid points, and while you could place him firmly in the “glass half empty” category, he made intelligent posts that were well articulated and left personal differences to one side. He was well-read, his opinions often respected and generally a good guy to have around to provide devil’s advocation.
But something changed. Whether this was personal, whether he was trying to use his apparent popularity to jump on a soapbox, I have no idea. Almost overnight, his posts started to cross the line into bitterness. Personal jibes at other forum members because of differences in opinions became a regular feature of his (I assume “his”) posts and from PM’s I received, I knew other members were starting to get wound up, ignoring his posts and generally building up ill feeling.
It got to the point where he was banned by the forum owner, initially temporarily, back on probation after a while, but it just got worse. Third time of asking and he was gone. And were there any complaints? Or threads asking for his re-instatement? Nope. Not one. He’d effectively got so wrapped up in emotion that his absence benefitted the community.
I’m sure it’s no isolated case. I’d probably be accurate in saying most forum posters are active not only for information on a topic close to their hearts, but also for the feel-good factor a close community helping each other and generally bantering can bring. I only use forums where I feel the community is friendly myself. I can’t be doing with all these rude people that assume life revolves around them and their opinions. That people use these forums to confront others – well, it’s just sad IMO.
Every forum has it’s own etiquette rules, but one rule shouldn’t need to be spelled out: respect for other people. I’d urge everyone who uses Internet forums, to follow the rule above…it can only help you gain respect and get known for providing balanced opinions. To become a poster worth reading and a valuable part of a community can have hidden benefits further down the line that shouldn’t take a genius to work out.
So I’ll repeat: please, please, please read your posts through and view them from the eyes of your intended audience. Would it offend you? Would it lower impartial observers’ opinion of you? Is it confrontational? If so…walk away, calm down and write the post later. There’s rarely a rush and a rush to reply can lead to poorly expressed opinions. A calm-down period helps immensely in working out an intelligent and balanced reply.
OK…I’m done. Thank the Lord, eh 